Fairytales Are Bad

I'll never understand why girls love fairy tales so much. Look at what happens: 1) Red Riding Hood Is such a twit, she can't tell the difference between a male wolf and her grandma, because the wolf was wearing her granny's clothes. 2) Beauty is basically sold into slavery to the Beast by her dad. 3) Cinderella is a slave in her own house. Then marries a guy who just stalked her across his whole kingdom, after falling madly in love with her after just once dance. 4) Goldilocks breaks and enters. OK, she enters and breaks things. Steals food, and goes to sleep in someobody else's bed, because apparently she thinks she's in a hotel. 5) Snow White. Where to begin. First, she's 12. And a Hottie McHotHot judging by a mirror. Her own Step-Mom, a grown woman, tries to kill her because she's jealous of how hot Snow White is. Snow White then moves in with 7 adult men, trading maid service for room and board. She is technically killed 3 times, because she can't grasp the simple concept of not opening the door to strangers (and probably can't tell the difference between humans and animals in said human clothes). Then Dwarves put her on display, because once again, she is just so hot. And 12. Finally, she marries a guy who literally makes out with hot corpses he finds in the woods. Think about it. Prince Charming is traveling through the woods, when he sees the dead body of a 12 year old girl on display (undoubtedly buying a ticket since you know the Dwarves were hoping to turn a profit on the world's hottest tween). Upon seeing this child, who is the"fairest of them all", he has a sudden, overwhelming urge to kiss her. A dead ,12 year old girl, mind you. A dead 12 year old girl who is just so hot you simply must kiss her cold dead lips. Then she "magically"wakes up from death. In other words, Snow White's a Zombie. A hot, 12 year old Zombie. The Charmings then place the Evil Queen in red hot iron boots, and force her to dance to death. Yes, these people believe in torture and capitol punishment, sans trial. And you thought Regina George was hot and mean? Try pissing off the world's hottest kid.